So good to see so many friends
Rallying around my bed.
Such trouble I must make amends,
It’s not like I am Dead!
You there, come forward come here sir,
I don’t believe we’ve met.
I know you’ll make this party whir,
Friendly gypsy, I’ll bet?
I hope you brought trinkets to show,
Everyone seems so sad.
Any trick shall set them aglow,
Even if they are bad!
Now sir I did not mean offence.
No need to point at me.
I take it back, let’s recommence,
the party revelry.
Your fingers are so white, so cold,
I’d dare say they were bone.
I cannot say it, can’t be so bold,
Your him, who takes mine own
No! You listen here my good man,
There’s been a grave mistake,
Sorry to inconvenience your plan,
I’m not your one to take!
I can’t go now, not now, so soon,
It surely is a lie.
I beseech you, please grant me a boon,
I cannot go to die.
……………
A touch, a flash and all is changed.
Now after my farewell
Harem of girls round me arranged,
Yes! My idea of Hell!
Ah well, it seems, I must be dead,
kicked the merry bucket,
And now, if offered my old bed:
I would proclaim, “fuck it!”
I really enjoyed this poem.
I really enjoyed this poem. I love the way you write it almost as a conversation and it made me smil at the end! Nice work.
Just one suggestion - it might be worth looking at the flow of some of the verses - some of them seem to stick a little. Especially the third last verse - the third line seems to be a little out of beat to the rest - see what you think.
Overall this was a thoroughly enjoyable read. Nice work. :-)
Kaz
It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Thanks much, looking back I
Thanks much, looking back I see what you mean.
I’ll look into fixing it a bit and try and come up with a change.
:D
How to die Gracefully
I really enjoyed this poem I read it with consumate ease. To me this poem had a
nice pace , humour, and showed great knowledge of human nature . Obviously
don’t change the end if you don’t want, as i must admit even though it is an
expletive it adds extremely well . Lesley ,Also I can see now the humour in
the last line.May i thank you for writing this poem.
Haha ah ummmm
when can we laugh at death?Truly laugh…?
In ink,
Dabbler
LOL, And Mr. Death even puts
LOL, And Mr. Death even puts in a personal visit. I love it. Very well done!
Always, Cat
Loved the Poem
Hi
Currently looking to put on a few low key poetry nights in Glasgow. Wanting to put on a poetry slam…im interested in your work. I work with Big Word in Edinburgh.
Would be happy if you could get in contact with us. My email address is
J.L.Rafferty@BigWord.org
message in a bottle
Hey John Rafferty here, was curious if you were up for my poetry nights they’re about to start first is in 13th Note…..
Or have you died gracefully from the poetry scene
Email back