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Style / Type: 
freeform

Dancing Trails
rise up
with sweet smelling perfumes,
shaping and recanting
in all different guises.
Beautiful plumes
dart through the air
spiraling to
the bigger picture.
Divining in light.
Divining in dream.
You came to me
in sweet smelling perfumes
unfurling mist,
dancing in trails,
                    racing into ash.

3.5
Average: 3.5 (2 votes)
Submitted by weirdelf on 10 June 2007 - 2:37am.
weirdelf's picture

Real poetry

to me is evocative, compresses meaning and uses language beautifully. This qualifies on all points, dig it. One small point, “sweet smelling perfumes” jarrs a bit, I imagine something more musky, primal,
cheers
Weirdelf

Submitted by conect11 on 11 June 2007 - 8:06am.

you wanted to see something you never saw before...

…and now you’re complaining about it! You New Yorkers are so hard to please, lol.

Submitted by barbsdad2003 on 22 June 2007 - 9:30am.
barbsdad2003's picture

I Love This One

Make yourself proud. Sensitively—and boldly—done.

Thanx,
Chuck