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Submitted by calliope on 4 January 2008 - 11:28am.| Updated 24 January 2008 - 2:51pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Death is to seduce her.
As a man he shows himself.
She thinks he is noble and true.
Honorable through and through.
She knows not what is supposed to befall.
He knows not the incredible strenghth of her thrall.
Who knew that mighty Death could fall,
Before the raw power of the siren’s call?
But can Love truly conquer Death,
With a passionate sigh of a dear lover’s breath?
Can a Love that is so strong and true,
Make Death’s job impossible to do?
And ,yet…
Death is inescapable.
So,what is it,
That Love can do?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
Title is iffy to me. I had many more.Let me know what you think of it.
(2 votes)
Beautiful
I think your poem is very beautiful. I enjoed. Easy to read and follow the logic.
The last 2 passages are very strong!
Olesya
How About
‘Death - The Conqueror?’ or something along those lines? You ask a question at the end so I wonder if makes sense to do so with the titleas well? See what you think.
I like the theme. Love will always conquer death for me because those we love live on in our memories when they have gone. That may be a cliche - sorry.
I cant really comment on the structure etc. I am sure others will. The theme is a common one but the question approach works for me to give it a new perspective.
Who knew that mighty Death could fall,
Before the raw power of the siren’s call?
These are great lines and this was an enjoyable read.
Kaz
It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Thank you Purplemoondoll
…for your wonderful output and ideas they are are always great and helpful .I think I will use this as a title. I think the question works as well .
And I always hold out hope that love shall conquer all, even after death, Love does not die.
Lacy,
Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
Death The Conquering
Death appears in the first line
My thought is leave it out of the title
just my meager opinion
loved the body of the poem!
Love can carry you through...
the thick and thin of it all. When all else fails, look deep within for love of self, see my Enough (Love of Self) poem if you haven’t already. Nicely written!!
Patrick/AO
Nice theme
Perhaps this theme is one covered often, but I think that originality is what makes your poem stand out. Nicely written.
~ Ronda