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Style / Type: 
freeform

  I hold my head up and wade through the world,

but it’s not the same.

Without your brightness,

I’m withering in the dark.

On Saturday I’ll bring you a flower.

There is a bluebird on the window sill.

The greenhouse is overgrown.

I can’t pull it all together.

The kids have their own lives,

and I miss you.

There is still a faint sweet smell of you

in the closet I can’t clean.

I only open it on bad days.

We didn’t have enough pictures.

On Saturdays, the bluebird visits.

I leave some crumbs,

take you a flower,

talk to you,

and I miss you…

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
4.333335
Average: 4.3 (3 votes)
Submitted by mark on 10 December 2007 - 12:50am.
mark's picture

i am sorry man

I am sorry you are so lonely I feel it in your writing. I am glad you are with us though. I’m glad you can still find a happy feeling - keep that
Truly,
Mark

a single point in the infinite circle am I

Submitted by weirdelf on 13 December 2007 - 8:37am.
weirdelf's picture

This one is so personal

It feels almost inappropriate to comment. But I know what you feel, so the poem is a success.
cheers,
Jess
wishing you a Salubrious Solstice

Submitted by themoonman on 13 December 2007 - 10:21am.
themoonman's picture

Thank you for the reaction...

I mean I feel I must say this is only a write. A sad picture I could see so clearly, I had to write it down…

Submitted by IKnowNoBox on 13 December 2007 - 6:21pm.
IKnowNoBox's picture

Realistic picture of healthy grieving.

well written.The title real says a lot to how some get too deep into grieving.

In ink,
David

Submitted by themoonman on 8 March 2008 - 11:21am.
themoonman's picture

Hi Nobox...

thank you for your comments…they are much appreciated….

Submitted by Frost Smith on 6 March 2008 - 12:42pm.
Frost Smith's picture

themoonman...

raw and real…excellent…I can’t say anymore

Frost

Submitted by themoonman on 8 March 2008 - 11:26am.
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Thank you Frost...

I was kinda proud of this one when my sister read it and in tears asked me where the hell did that come from…she writes as well..thanks for taking the time to read and comment. You are very talented and for you to say it’s excellent…well, damn.
just maybe I hit the mark with this one.

Richard

Submitted by sinbadthesaliorman on 11 August 2008 - 4:01pm.
sinbadthesaliorman's picture

I like this title very much

I often times try for one word titles and the feelings you have shared the smell in the closet when I lost my wife by divorce I kept one of her pillows I took from her side of the bed and kept it in a space bag so I would have her scent such a strong reminder I feel the wading and the loneliness unfortnatly the space bag over powered it after a few weeks but I kept it on my bed for years anyway Donnie/ Sinbad

Submitted by themoonman on 12 August 2008 - 2:35am.
themoonman's picture

Donnie...

I’m glad this one touched you and sorry it did at the same time,
as I said before this was just a write, something I had witnessed
but not to the degree that was written as I added some of me in
the write… put myself there.. thank you for bringing this back
to my attention as this was a special write for me…

Richard

Submitted by R.M.Shanmugam on 3 January 2009 - 7:25pm.
R.M.Shanmugam's picture

It sounds as a lementation

It sounds as a lementation for a departed soul. striking both the beraved and others fantasising

Submitted by themoonman on 4 January 2009 - 8:48am.
themoonman's picture

R.M.

thank you for going back to read this write…

your thoughts are well received!

Richard

Submitted by Linda Moses on 3 January 2009 - 7:39pm.
Linda Moses's picture

Richard

Way to go, you just keep getting better. Awesome write,

Sincerely, Linda

Submitted by themoonman on 4 January 2009 - 8:49am.
themoonman's picture

Linda...

I’ve said it before, you are a fresh light here!

thank you

Richard