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Submitted by theladyblue on 26 November 2007 - 7:12am.
Style / Type:
freeform
Before I awoke unto myself
My heart was but equidistant
~*~
Angelic visions pervade
Sear my eyes
From birth I was erroneous
My shadow rooted in virtue
~*~
Sweet tragic lad
Entice my compassion
When brother’s abrupt finale came
Mother’s malice found me there
~*~
Knowing your woe
Merge our memories
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
(1 vote)
OK
still reading ;-)
off to prt 3
thanks again
many smiles and thanks for your time!!!
<3 Emarie