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Submitted by theladyblue on 26 November 2007 - 7:06am.
Style / Type:
freeform
In these waking days
Mine eyes do hemorrhage
~*~
Emerald tears alight
Assault the floor
Upon unfortunate clouds
My soul does waft
~*~
Silver linings shatter
Fragment my sanity
Outside the halls of this chancel
My voice dies hoarse
~*~
Perverted glass reflects
Secludes my heart
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
this is based off of a dream that is believed to be of either my spirit guide of my other half. i cant help but wonder of past lives. through these words i will try to bring you into this place. thanks for the read!!!
(1 vote)
off to part 2
perfect writing !
thanks,
Mark
: D
thanks sooooo much!!!
<3 Emarie