Cold and shaking in the darkening sunlight we landed here upon this
A tropic and deserted desert island, honey nearly bare, her bronzed and golden tan
Just an arms lengnths away, while we lay upon these glistening sands, I hear her shallow breathing
Full moon rising, entranced in your endless beauty, I pull you to shelter beneath the wind blown palms
If I had anything to give to you, besides this deep purple,Rose maybe some Pink Snowballs and a Grape Ne-hi, no?
Honey I am so sorry, yes I will just hold you, I will hold you tight
Some hot black coffee than; and a warm roaring campfire? Just these arm of yours my dear
The Northern Lights swirl above, as we silently notice two shooting stars
and something that looked like a pulsing quasar
Things we would have never had paid attention too
If you were not lying here, in my weary arms this was no Love Boat cruise ah!
[deep despair]
As I place you in the sand, beneath those torn palms, my palms are bleeding still
This bright piece of aluminum that I have used for a shovel, will now become your headstone
I lie atop the heaping mound, and steadily swat at the circling flies above I try to shew them away
I continually curse; with my weakened breath
Our misfortune this was to be our Honeymoon, the one we didn’t get to take
[Not much time left]
I see the men of war floating among, the foaming seas
Amongst the fiery debris, the ship stands poised, straight up then down; as a serpent bobs up his head
I sit emotionless, and void; at this, last memory on the
Dark Side of Paradise
A thought by Sinbad the Sailor Man
As it stands
see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjALf12PAWc
cheers,
Jess
I could use some kind of note worthry comments on this poem
I wasn’t goin to put in my manual script but, I Did any way I’ve sent one to a publisher in Chicago but dummy me forgot to make a copy and now I don’t know who has it/ Duh! well I still have no other access except for the berrys box and it is so hard to get to right now Ugh! plus many sites are resicted so I can’t view the site as it stands sorry thank anyway Donnie/Sinbad I am getting cloudier by the day must go get some blood work some things up again hazey days will become lazy days if I let them back in
Can't say I understand the poem
Sorry I didn’t give constructive feedback.
I was obsessed at the time at the injustice done to Naomi Wolf in the so-called “land of the free”, the darkest joke in the world.
Again sorry, I do your poem an injustice.
cheers,
Jess
What is it you do not under stand
Pink snow balls they are A hostees Cake that come out evry year around Valintines Day They are chocolate cream fill cakes surrounded by pink color marshmellow cream and coconut shredding The grape NeHi is a soda the man is trying to share or recall images by offering these things her favorites knowing he has no abillity to stem off their pending death of his half naked and dying wife they are arriving at dusk and shall barely make the morning as a matter of fact she does not and he buries her and marks the place with the aluminum piece of the wreckage as to the men of wars I tried to leave that to the reader is it the Portuges Man of War? or is it Men at War? I guess it did not make the grade An the Rose is the wife Deep purple and the split/ Rose /I was trying to imply Death as in a Black Rose wich are truely purple are dark blueish red Would like to have some help on this poem for clarity sake if nothing esle for I did summit it to be published Still haven’t herd anything But I forgot to give my e-mail and my phone is off right now so will have to wait for a letter hopefully
ok, i didn't get it at first 2 readings
and only got it after reading your reply.
Sometimes what is so blaringly obvious to us as we write is obscure to the reader. It’s a hard one.
I think this needs some work. While being intense it sort of floats around. Look at how each image and idea contributes to the total effect, in order. I honestly can’t be more constructive than that.
Hope that helps and sorry for the naomi distraction,
cheers,
Jess
Yea I know I need to works on some of these yet but
so far behind this month was out for a week with double walking flu have had a bad week driving on my return got burned for 180..00 in fares run offs and no shows went 40 miles for one lady who didn’t bother tell the dispatcher she had no momey so March and the end of Feb. was a trying time money wise I am getting burnt out driving six days a week 12 hrs a day and not making any money but with my health failings and back problems there is not much else for me to do around here and I don’t want to be to far away from the kids Thanks Jess Donnie/ Sinbad