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Submitted by sumsum22 on 27 October 2007 - 2:55pm.| Updated 27 October 2007 - 3:55pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
number 482
to be one, to be one
it’s the name i was given
at the time of the frost
at the time of my loss
She was never there for me.
A constant reminder
Number 482.
the glistening scales of
the suits
that they wore
overshadowed the
obvious offenses
of their past
At the time of my loss
she was never there for me.
Intricate Indignity
and
superflous supple slush
has rendered me
useless to myself.
Number 482
to be one, to be one.
Number 482.
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
(1 vote)
I like the poem of loss
but don’t get the 482 bit. Am I missing the allegory?
Lovely use of language
“Intricate Indignity
and
superflous supple slush”
cheers,
Jess