As I sit and pounder the incurring sentences
Of my time on this earthly plain; for my insurrectins
While in my fathers army; I was a miss guided youth
Of many years in need; to be reprieved
From my uncertainties; and indiscretions
I followed the others like a goat on a rope
I had no thoughts of my own and I liked it that way
Then one day you, came flittering by with flowers in your hair; love struck, stars in your eyes
You made my heart leap through my hardened breast plate
I dropped my sword, my spear, and sheild, I took my helmet off
I was defenseless
I began to have thoughts of my very own
I walked upright and fearless
Then you left, stuck my heart on a spit and slow roasted it over a pit of sorrow
Hotter than any hell's fire
my darling Sprite, you were such a delight
No matter the cost, I'd suffer it all over again
Heart images out of your chest and breast plate
on a spit over coals of sorrow.
A debut that will keep me coming back to your profile to read look forward to sharing with you.
In ink,
Dabbler
Po8try.cum
Wankers It seems.A big greasy,gritty hand job.
FUCKML!
(fall under chair killing myself laughing)
too true, Boxless
cheers,
Jess
Yea and Me ready to be greased
Good thing I have no money to send them other wise I ‘d be broke I fell into their little game and I still like to get stroked there sad I know but I am such a needy guy now a days
Thanx for the great comments I know
Love your stuff and try to get here often to read I will be doing a lot for now the box has a mind of its own keeps shutting off by itself can’t get anything done before it goes out I was trying my hand at a x-mas short story but I cant remember enough of it till I see it again weird this condition of mine I can sing as long as the words or there or the melody is playing but take them away and I draw a blank I’m going back through to anwser these remarks I told Mark I felt like A idoit for not conecting the dots well I must answer as many as I can before I forget again Donnie/ Sinbad
Indeed this is an impressive debut.
Strong allegory, not a hint of trite or schlock, no wonder they couldn’t handle it at pandereryoupayus.com
Your spelling is appalling, but you know that. Perhaps use your word processor then copy and paste it in. You know this site has built in spell-checking? Any words underlined with dotted red just right-click on them and suggested spellings come up.
pounder ponder
insurrectins insurrections
miss guided misguided
breast plate breastplate
sheild shield
You won my heart especially with those last two lines, so feel that, for most of the ones I have been spitted and roasted by, not all, am not a total masochist. 8)
Really appreciate that you are taking the time to comment on other peoples poems too, that is what this site is really all about.
cheers,
Jess
p.s. love your nick
p.p.s. fix the spelling, have a look at your use of punctuation and line breaks and I will change my vote to a 5
I am rather Igorant
when it come to the peoms as such as I have seen written here and I can see that you are truely Involed deeply with most of the stuff you write and are more knowleagable then myself so I will be watchin your remarks even if you don’t see me making any for there may be no dumb question just the lack of asking one or two of them may to some appear to be in the want of what one seek to find Oh I so miss my mind have you seen it laying around any where if so pick it up if you dare and give it back to he who seeks it love the picture and your ability to say what you think at the time you are thinking it and the ability to recant when you now yourself to be wrong or out of line or missconscrewed keep writing can’t wait to see what the kiddys will get from your life expireances just don’t scare the little buggers to death hehe best wishes and have a great holiday Jess Donnie/ Sinbad
More stuff on Poetry.com
Under Donald Nmn Beres Jr wish I knew why they keep pulling my stuff out of the contests
Can't seem to edit this page for some reason would like to fix
the miss spellings but, can find the edit page here Donnie /Sinbad
What
a great line, I like it’ I followed the others like a goat on a rope’ This
line has a good earthy feel. Regards Lesley
Thanx I haven't Had time to read you as of late but will try as
I am extremely busy trying not to lose my apt. and job This has been a terriable holiday for tips and this is where I make the bigger portion of my wage
as A matter of fact I got ditch last night by a high Roller a regular I get the money eventually but I live Day to day and had to take money out of saving to cover my sihft thurs day plus try to get my small collection into the site or bookself once I figure it out Thanx for the committ Always like to hear what people think good or bad I’m still learning the site and all its bennies I use a Libary computer and most of the time only get 240 mins it not much with all the reloging and the kids around town use it quite a bit so I can get bump for their resavastions or some ones esles then I got to find one not reserved or being use there is only eight here and they go fast so I try to get here right when they open but sometime the job doesn’t get done Thanx again Donnie / Sinbad