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Submitted by loved on 8 February 2010 - 1:10pm.| Updated 30 March 2010 - 12:00pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
What women want?
You give of a lot of what women want
but you know
no woman is ever satisfied as she wants
All the time she wants,
More of this and that,
She wants to lie flat,
She wants love,
Lust,
Also sex,
She wants respect.
What does a woman want?
May I ask of you?
How do you come to know!!!
What a woman wants from you?
Give them more,
The more they want,
Man has a limitation too …
They can woo
They can sue
They can also
Forever crave
only you
»
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Good theme here, but needs some work!
I’m sure you can dig a little deeper into what spurred you to write this and come up with something a bit more powerful! Good effort!
thanks
i read some ones article on this subject so i too wrote my version though dissimilar thats all to it thanks for ur feed back sir
any suggestions shall rework on it
women poem revised
You give of a lot of what women want but you know no woman is ever satisfied as she wants
All the time she wants,
More of this and that,
She wants to lie flat,
She wants love,
Lust,
Also sex,
She wants respect.
What does a woman want
May I ask of you?
How do you come to know!!!
What a woman wants from you?
Give them more,
The more they want,
Man has a limitation too …
They can woo
They can sue
They can also
Forever crave only you
it could be a really good piece this so do work on it
What women want
You give off a lot of what women want,……….of not off( think of off as something jumping off) of wine! ………………………………………………………………………….you don’t need the OFF anyway cut it out.
but you know no woman is ever satisfied
as she wants………………no full stop here
All the time she wants…….comma after time,
More of this and that………..comma here
She wants to lay flat……….comma here
She wants love,
Lust…………comma
Also sex………..comma
She wants respects……………………no S, just respect.
What a woman wants…………what does a woman want
May I ask of you?
How do you come to know?…………different from one to the next!!! NO ? next line yes?
what a woman wants from you (?)
Give them more…..comma
The more they want…….comma
Man has a sort of limitation too……don’t really need SORT OF here
They can woo
They can sue
They can also
Forever want only you………….use crave instead of want here.
There’s perhaps a bit much want on the other hand it binds it all together too, some of it is a bit glib, I see what Lonnie means and it could be a really good piece this so do work on it some more and only on it not writing ten others in between then you might produce some good poems. Isn’t it good to feel wanted?
Yours friend Ann of Norway.
poem revised
Ma’am r u from Ireland ?My lap top which is Canadian English based automatically switched on th IRISH base. u know there r so many kinds of English these days Queens English is no more astandard, as it once was . we have USA Canadian Indian Japanese Chinese French and African English[ES]
So i get confused and let the compy do its own grammtising, hence the errors however I have punctuated as suggested by u Hope it fits in comfortably thanks too. LOVED
What Women Want
You give of a lot of what women want but you know no woman is ever satisfied as she wants
All the time she wants,
More of this and that,
She wants to lie flat,
She wants love,
Lust,
Also sex,
She wants respect.
What does a woman want
May I ask of you?
How do you come to know!!!
What a woman wants from you?
Give them more,
The more they want,
Man has a limitation too …
They can woo
They can sue
They can also
Forever crave only you
PLEASE SEE
As the lady has commented,,
women want
more money for shopping
pl do fit it in as per her request thanks
LOVED
And then I’d shop for a
And then I’d shop for a man who knew what I wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiiiiiii!
~A
thanks a revised version
You give of a lot of what women want but you know no woman is ever satisfied as she wants
All the time she wants,
More of this and that,
She wants to lie flat,
She wants love,
Lust,
Also sex,
She wants respect.
What does a woman want
May I ask of you?
How do you come to know!!!
What a woman wants from you?
Give them more,
The more they want,
Man has a limitation too …
They can woo
They can sue
They can also
Forever crave only you
Do you mean here that men don't want,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Almost wish I were Irish! Half Scottish half English.
Do you mean here that men don’t want, they want as much, if not more, than women do! You could expand this poem I feel and make it into a two part one, the other half, it could be entitled The other half too he he. But seriously I think it could have some more to it, we get the message, women want, loud and clear but would like a little more to enjoy. A poem is a mini play or film, and we like to have many of our senses involved, not only the deductive ones, so what about it Istan? Get weaving.
Luv Ann,
born Somerset, lived Derby, Leicester,
Bristol, Exeter, London, Oslo, Flatdal.
GREAT AS AMENDED
Thanks to all who sugggested here for this womens wants