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the day has come

for me to become a man

and

as a man

i can only do what i can

to protect everything that i cherish and love

and

in my final

and happiest moment

i will always remember

 

a kiss and hug of love

from a lover

a hug and kiss much lovelier

from a mother

a handshake of companionship

from a brother

a feeling of sadness

too sad to cry

knowing this is the day i am to die

but at this moment

they do not know

so

i leave them with the false hope of me returning home.

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
3
Average: 3 (1 vote)
Submitted by weirdelf on 9 September 2007 - 6:45am.
weirdelf's picture

At first while reading this

I felt hugely gratified at a man expressing his intimacy.
But the last few lines felt like a suicide note. Do it if you must, but remember the pain you will cause when you do it. Is your pain more important than the pain of all who love you?
Maybe you have a terminal disease and don’t want to burden them with it, that is selfish, those who love you would not be burdened but feel honoured to be there with you. I know.
Then again, maybe I mis-read this completely and you are just going on holiday to get away from it all.
I often screw up readings people’s poetry, but I try, I really do, to understand.
cheers,
Jess

Submitted by SLoEDdie on 10 September 2007 - 12:36am.
SLoEDdie's picture

Thanks jess

for always reading my poems so deeply, it means a lot to me and always thanks for the advise. this poem tough is only about a soilder going to war, the first initial raid. it flatters me though that you dig into my poems. thanks

ed

Submitted by weirdelf on 10 September 2007 - 10:58am.
weirdelf's picture

well, I missed the meaning

sometimes I feel I am too stupid to be an Advocate on this site, but I caught some of it. Thanks for your gracious response.
cheers,
Jess

Submitted by SLoEDdie on 11 September 2007 - 10:34pm.
SLoEDdie's picture

No i dont think that

I am just vague : ), thanks for all the comments.

Submitted by conect11 on 10 September 2007 - 1:51pm.

you touched

perfectly on the responsibility of a man, a responsibility that not everyone understands / fesses up to. I enjoyed this read, and its weightiness, its underlying sadness. In a way it reminds me of a song by New Order about a young soldier coming home from war, who the British Army mistakenly sends a letter to his wife telling her he’s dead.

Mark

Submitted by SLoEDdie on 11 September 2007 - 10:37pm.
SLoEDdie's picture

That must be so intense

If that really happened. you’d probably go through every emotion we feel. thanks for the comment mark.

Submitted by IKnowNoBox on 24 September 2007 - 3:05pm.
IKnowNoBox's picture

This state-side vet thanks you S.E.

For I have ran this poem thru my head in paraphrase.

in ink,
Dabbler