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Submitted by SLoEDdie on 9 September 2007 - 1:38am.
Style / Type:
freeform
the day has come
for me to become a man
and
as a man
i can only do what i can
to protect everything that i cherish and love
and
in my final
and happiest moment
i will always remember
a kiss and hug of love
from a lover
a hug and kiss much lovelier
from a mother
a handshake of companionship
from a brother
a feeling of sadness
too sad to cry
knowing this is the day i am to die
but at this moment
they do not know
so
i leave them with the false hope of me returning home.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
(1 vote)
At first while reading this
I felt hugely gratified at a man expressing his intimacy.
But the last few lines felt like a suicide note. Do it if you must, but remember the pain you will cause when you do it. Is your pain more important than the pain of all who love you?
Maybe you have a terminal disease and don’t want to burden them with it, that is selfish, those who love you would not be burdened but feel honoured to be there with you. I know.
Then again, maybe I mis-read this completely and you are just going on holiday to get away from it all.
I often screw up readings people’s poetry, but I try, I really do, to understand.
cheers,
Jess
Thanks jess
for always reading my poems so deeply, it means a lot to me and always thanks for the advise. this poem tough is only about a soilder going to war, the first initial raid. it flatters me though that you dig into my poems. thanks
ed
well, I missed the meaning
sometimes I feel I am too stupid to be an Advocate on this site, but I caught some of it. Thanks for your gracious response.
cheers,
Jess
No i dont think that
I am just vague : ), thanks for all the comments.
you touched
perfectly on the responsibility of a man, a responsibility that not everyone understands / fesses up to. I enjoyed this read, and its weightiness, its underlying sadness. In a way it reminds me of a song by New Order about a young soldier coming home from war, who the British Army mistakenly sends a letter to his wife telling her he’s dead.
Mark
That must be so intense
If that really happened. you’d probably go through every emotion we feel. thanks for the comment mark.
This state-side vet thanks you S.E.
For I have ran this poem thru my head in paraphrase.
in ink,
Dabbler