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Docmaverick
United States
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Submitted by docmaverick on 3 September 2007 - 10:45pm.| Updated 3 September 2007 - 11:45pm.
Style / Type:
Western Classic
A road in it’s beauty
no begining or end,
a young boy is waving
to his family or friend;
the sky and the clouds
at the top of the scene,
with a lake in the foreground
all calm and serene.
The distant mountains
so prominent and blue,
to make this scene permanent
it would only take glue;
and in the meadow
a house so small,
beside it, the boy
a horse, and a stall.
The boy with no hand
I place on the mare’s muzzle,
and I’ve finally finished
my jig-saw puzzle!
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
(1 vote)
Smiles
Yes, some clear glue and a frame. I wodered where this poem was going and then the boy with no hand - WHAT ! laughing here.
Thanks doc,
Mark L
Picture Perfect
Matk,
I’m happy my poem gave you a smile. I sat down because I had an urge to write, but then found I had nothing to write about. So, I started with a few lines to see where they might take me.Has that ever happened to you? More often than not, I end up with used scratch paper!
Thanks for your kind words,
Doc.
Doc you must be kidding
I was perfectly convinced that you were writing as you were putting a puzzle together - a jigsaw puzzle
This is just awesome creativity!
Thanks again,
Mark L
Speaking of "puzzles"...
I thank you, again. But, here is a true puzzle I’m dealing with. I can’t for the life of me, upload a picture to put with my profile! Not so creative NOW, am I ?!
Doc.
(No subject)
This one kept me guessing....
Hi Doc Maverick
I am fast becoming an avid reader of your work, your writing tells a story to me, sometimes it makes me smile, and sometimes it will bring tears to my eyes. This one had me guessing especially when it came to the line about the boy with no hand LOL very nicely written.
Thank you
Kind regards
Feebie
Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)
Picture Perfect
Feebie,
I sat down one day, because I had an urge to write. But I soon found out I had nothing with which to write about. Has that ever happened to you? Well, I started with a few lines, and waited to see where they’d take me…and I ended up with this. More often than not, I end up with used scratch paper!
Thanks for the kind words,
Doc.