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Docmaverick
United States
Submitted by docmaverick on 1 September 2007 - 3:15am.| Updated 9 May 2008 - 11:16am.
Style / Type:
Western Classic
The gardener dug it carefully
for he wanted it just right,
he dug where it was warm
but not too cold at night.
The climate was considered
when he brought the seeds for flowers,
he dug the holes and planted them
and worked at it for hours.
After he had planted them
he gave a little water,
but he didn’t overwater them
in case it got much hotter.
The gardner soon did treasure
all the different kinds of blooms,
and carefully hand-picked them
and displayed them in his rooms.
So don’t neglect your garden
for you’ll have to make ammends,
‘cause in this story you’re the gardener
and the flowers are your friends.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
(2 votes)

Have you had a life changing experience recently?
You poetry has changed a lot, reflecting a deep consideration of life and humanity.
I must admit I am not overly fond of the strict rhythm and rhyming schemes you are using but there is so much care and compassion there I find it easy to forgive.
cheers,
Jess
The Gardner
Hey Jess,
I wouldn’t say, “life changing”…..just a lot of time on my hands.
Doc.