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Docmaverick
United States
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Submitted by docmaverick on 31 August 2007 - 8:00am.
Style / Type:
Western Classic
Life’s easier for you because you’re beautiful
for me it’s not the same,
I appear irresponsible
treating life as if a game.
Your beauty comes from deep inside
your life force rules your day,
we’re completely different
for mine gets in my way.
Your lovely, sweet, and quiet grace
helps make you beautiful,
your essence has a brighter shine
where mine is simply dull.
I’m not making excuses
I’m just contemplating fact,
your beauty shines out from your soul
and tells you how to act.
But I’ll keep plodding through life
trying to learn, as on I go,
for having seen your beauty
has helped more than you know.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
(1 vote)
While what you say is true enough, generally
I get the shits with us men getting treated as being emotionally retarded. I am not, nor are you.
cheers,
Jess