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Docmaverick
United States
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Submitted by docmaverick on 28 August 2007 - 4:38am.| Updated 28 August 2007 - 5:38am.
Style / Type:
Western Classic
Can you spend a penny
with nothing in your hand?
Can you share the knowledge
with no one to understand?
Can you quench a thirst
without water to drink?
Can you use a chain
missing many a link?
Can you mail a letter
without the proper stamp?
Can you light the way
without the help of a lamp?
Can you do the tasks at hand
without the proper tools?
Or can you explain the difference
to a bunch of lazy fools?
Know your limitations
and let love see you through,
and then set out to tackle
all the things that you CAN do.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
(4 votes)
Interesting Write.
You had me wondering about the title until the end. Nice rhyming and it was beautifully written. I like the question approach. The last lines say it all.
Kaz x
My e-mail
Thank you soooo much for taking the time to critic my poem. I literally “lapped up” your praise, and encouragement. Thanks again……………….doc.
Nice one......
Hi Doc Maverick
We sometimes do not realise our limitations, and we do need to ask ourselves these questions!! I liked this one and also wondered about the title until i had read the last stanza!!
many thanks
Kind regards
Feebie
Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)
Ah, that's better.
A simple truth well put. I really do love the musical quality of your poetry.
This is probably out of turn, even presumptuous, but I would have liked to see something in here about striving to reach our potential, not just accepting our limitations. Take it or leave it, just a feeling I got reading it.
cheers,
Jess