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Docmaverick

docmaverick's picture
Lifetime Founding Member
southern california,
United States

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Style / Type: 
Western Classic

Can you spend a penny

with nothing in your hand?

Can you share the knowledge

with no one to understand?

Can you quench a thirst

without water to drink?

Can you use a chain

missing many a link?

Can you mail a letter

without the proper stamp?

Can you light the way

without the help of a lamp?

Can you do the tasks at hand

without the proper tools?

Or can you explain the difference

to a bunch of lazy fools?

Know your limitations

and let love see you through,

and then set out to tackle

all the things that you CAN do.

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
4.25
Average: 4.3 (4 votes)
Submitted by purplemoondoll on 28 August 2007 - 1:19pm.
purplemoondoll's picture

Interesting Write.

You had me wondering about the title until the end. Nice rhyming and it was beautifully written. I like the question approach. The last lines say it all.

Kaz x

Submitted by docmaverick on 29 August 2007 - 4:12am.
docmaverick's picture

My e-mail

Thank you soooo much for taking the time to critic my poem. I literally “lapped up” your praise, and encouragement. Thanks again……………….doc.

Submitted by Feebie on 31 August 2007 - 12:48am.
Feebie's picture

Nice one......

Hi Doc Maverick

We sometimes do not realise our limitations, and we do need to ask ourselves these questions!! I liked this one and also wondered about the title until i had read the last stanza!!

many thanks

Kind regards

Feebie

Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)

Submitted by weirdelf on 31 August 2007 - 5:28am.
weirdelf's picture

Ah, that's better.

A simple truth well put. I really do love the musical quality of your poetry.
This is probably out of turn, even presumptuous, but I would have liked to see something in here about striving to reach our potential, not just accepting our limitations. Take it or leave it, just a feeling I got reading it.
cheers,
Jess