Like moving to the East Village, but easier on the wallet. — Register Free
Submitted by orgami on 22 August 2007 - 11:09pm.| Updated 23 August 2007 - 12:09am.
Style / Type:
freeform
hold on for a moment
a moon horned and brilliant
pressed on a thousand mile sky
give me that look
those serious eyes
flanked by borders of mascara
so green and deep
where do they lead too
let me hold you here forever
sunlight sharp flooding in
from a city valley
lake is a pan of mercury
vivid and alive
polished keen as armour
drag my hand into the shadow
of the glass cliffs
before i can utter my words
caught in my chest
(will you love me forever…)
it never got said but her smile as she waited patiently
looking up at me and the moon in the late afternoon
hours its forever here in my heart
(1 vote)
Wow! This is a new direction for you
or perhaps a development of earlier themes. You make the landscape reflect the feeling, as you have done before so intimately, but here you take it to a mythic level. Great work!
(A hint, after the last line hit enter twice then a space so the poem is separated from the crit suggestion)
cheers,
Jess