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Submitted by orgami on 22 August 2007 - 10:38pm.| Updated 22 August 2007 - 11:38pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
round about they go again
tailess and agitated
fed with syrup drops and alphabets
could i scrape one wall proof
shadow dancing through the halls
sing their brand of mimicry
and audacious authenticity
perhaps i need another shot
to close my eyes and see
let loose my carnaged carnivore
to roam about
be free
between dream between sleep
radio berates me and a drafty dream house spins
let the red masque in
(1 vote)
Dig it! The boy ventures into rhyme!
and bloody well too, restrained and without losing any of the strength of your language, enhancing it as it should do.
Once again you tricked me with the line between dream and reality and delighted to be so tricked.
Your playfulness with language here belies the deadly seriousness of the thought and imagery.
cheers,
Jess
p.s.
don’t ever tell me again you don’t have a very good vocabulary, you clearly have all you need.
cheers,
Jess
aghast
this isnt very good i think rather rambled
but its one of my first few