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Submitted by Wafi on 20 July 2009 - 5:15am.| Updated 25 October 2009 - 10:52am.
Style / Type:
freeform
He is not yours alone,
“God is all-embracing.”
If you lose your eyesight
Due to excess of tears
Shed in want of Heaven,
Or from fear of the fire,
Or your black hairs turn gray
Adoring Him day and night,
Still, you cant say
With surety that in the end
You will be among the blessed
Or will go towards the fire.
Then why
You, in your arrogance,
Look down upon all?
Calling everyone
The inmate of Hell.
Have you brought the revelation?
We have made Him
Much too small
With our bigoted thoughts…
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Thankful To Nina, For The Great Suggestions....
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Amen
The poem was splendid and the title was intriguing enough for one to read on.
I, for one totally agree on the message it conveys to all the arrogant people especially the religious ones, and for that i truly say Bravo to the poet!
Thank You So Much
Thank you so much, for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate your thoughts a lot.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
Wafi,
5/5 for your theme here!
I think this piece might be enhanced by rearranging some lines, and I have also made a few suggestions (in parentheses):
(He is not yours alone,)
“God is all-embracing.”
If you lose your eyesight
Due to excess of tears
Shed in want of Heaven,
Or from fear of the fire,
Or your black hairs turn gray
Adoring Him day and night,
Still, you cant say
With surety that (in) the end
You will be among the blessed
Or will go towards the fire.
Then why
You(,) in your arrogance(,)
Look down upon all?
Calling everyone
The inmate of Hell.
Have you brought
The revelation?
You have made Him
(M)uch (too) small
With your bigoted thoughts…
What do you think? Any good?
Yours,
~Nina
P.S. “But you cannot belittle God” could be added, but that might be too much, maybe your more subtle version is better.
Great Suggestions Nina
Great suggestions Nina. Thank you so much my friend. I appreciate your thoughts.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
To A Religious Arrogant
Wafi, I think the last three lines emphasized the whole
poem [for me anyway] Great work here my friend~
______________________________________________________
Income-tax forms should be more realistic by
allowing the taxpayer to list “Uncle Sam” as a dependent
Anonymous
Thanks A Lot Janice
Thanks a lot Janice, for reading and commenting. So glad you liked it.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
Wafi my friend
Well done and well spoken! Nina made some fine suggestions and I cannot add to them except to say that I found it wonderful. Say hello to your wonderful family for me and may you and them be blessed with good health.
Respectfully,
Rett:
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy. ” Winston Churchill
Thanks A Lot Rett
Thanks a lot Rett, my dearest friend, for reading and commenting.
Thank you for wishing my family. They say hello to you as well.
Best wishes,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
Hello
Some excellent thoughts here. Many are arrogant in their religion.
Always, Cat
Thanks A Lot Cat
Thanks a lot Cat, for reading and commenting. So glad it got your attention.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
Wafi
I enjoyed your poem and it was great because it was not sing-song,
it kept my interest to the very end…. Good thoughts behind the
poem, no we can never be humble enough…….
Patty
Thanks A Lot Patty
Thanks a lot Patty, for reading and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts a lot.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
Thanks A Lot Jess
Thanks a lot Jess, for reading and commenting. So very glad you liked it.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” ~Happy Friendship Day~
I like ...
Jess’s comment. Message sent well by the write … and received/welcomed. An important one, I might add. My whole life I’ve been surrounded by religious-wingnut relatives who, while denying they are guilty of arrogance, behave as if they embrace it. The religiously arrogant seem unaware of their arrogance/presumed superiority so furiously held tight about them. Like a shield against all comers.
The internal logic’s nicely consistent.
Much appreciated,
Chuck
Thank You So Much, Chuck
Thank you so much Chuck, for reading and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts a lot.
I can understand. The arrogance of the religiously arrogants has always pissed me off. I have been hurt emotionally too much by the harsh words and aggresive insulting behavior of some religious arrogants (Even due to my thoughts which If I have ever tried to express them…)and unfortunately they have got many to support them as religion is a very sensitive issue here…. But now I dont care much about them… all I can do is put my thoughts on the paper… and that is what I did by writting this poem ;)
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts with me. So much appreciated my friend.
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
Wafi it is a nice poem but, I think what you are calling
Arrogance in this poem is surety. When it comes to My god as you or others “MAY” Call Him Small “g” not that you use it here, you are the ones who be little Him. The Creator, The Father, speaks truth so Faith comes into play.When your faith is activated, it becomes reality and no longer is it a falbled nurse me ryhme. I take it on faith that God The Father. Does not lie. So when he states I am The Way the Truth no man cometh to the Father except by me, or That whosoever has seen me has seen the Father also. The trinity is a hard pill to swallow. So when He states. That whom ever believeth on the Son. I know He is speaking of Himself, confusing, maybe but isn’t this whole event we call life. True there is arrogance in us all especialy when we first believe for this is when we begin to be tested fully. None of us is all knowing but, when you come to terms with life, you’ll see that only death remains and then what? Do you doubt the word of God or do you live again? Am I arrogant yes, I am but, only with myself for those who would teach you should teach you as gently as a Mother Loin would her Cubs teachers don’t force feed life, for we all have free will, although at times it may seem that we have none.So then, though there is no fault in the poem I find, that it impresses that “We Can’t Know” if we are saved or not. In which I would be a posed to its logic, an Opinion Yes, I know but. It is Mine and My Arrogant self. Donnie/Sinbad
Thanks a lot Donie, for
Thanks a lot Donie, for reading and commenting.
I strongly respect your belief and appreciate your taking time to share your thoughts with me about this poem. It came up due to the arrogant behavior of some narrow minded religious arrogants, which really hurt my feelings. It wasnt only me but I have seen many people being insulted and looked down upon by some of the religious arrogants just because their thoughts were against or not consistent with their religious beliefs.
Any body can be sure about what he thinks or believes but it doesnt give them the right to insult others’ beliefs or call them names and say that they will burn in Hell for ever.
If I am sure about my beliefs, I cant be harsh on others or insult them for what they believe, cos they are also sure about their beliefs as much as I am! It is good to be sure but it aint something good to be arrogant and insult others just becos of it but we have to respect others. If I am behaving in arrognat manner it tells what?, nothing except that I am thinking small. Arrogance comes from narrow mind, if I have never studied the beliefs or religions of others how can I be so much sure about the reality of my own beliefs? One may be so sure sometimes because of the lack of knowledge about a particular thing, he may not know the whole truth. I remembered a quote here;”We think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.” and it is not only some of the religiously arrogants but also some of those who dont believe in any religious dogmas and start insulting and critizing the beliefs or religions of others without even having a little knowledge of the particular religion! Who gave them the right to hurt the feelings of those who believe in God, or any particular religion? We have to be tolerant and receptive.
We always say “God is great”, but we belittle Him when we restrict Him to a particular religion or set of beliefs….
Thanks once again Donie. I liked your honest opinion about this poem.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
High fives ...
… and a few amens thrown your way, Jess.
Thanx,
Chuck
Jess Faith Comment
A tattooed person doesn’t really care if you are tattooed or not. And knowning is half the battle, a brick in hand is worth two on the pile. I don’t really give to much stock to what others have said but, what they have done. I don’t know Ayn Rand But, I have had a glimsped at you. There is a talent and a heart and a wound but we all have them, we can possess all the knowlege of this world and still not know Dick or Jane for that matter you say yes, I say no, Potatoe or potato. We have already established I am a believer and you are not can’t we agree to dis-agree or must I and those like me endure these little jabs for the color of your ink is starting to pale by the color of Christs Blood and all of his Saints and Marters. Throw us damn Christains to the loins if you must and be done with us. We will most likely still Pray for you. Dear hearted Brother wether you sink or swim.
Wafi Sorry to get on a petalstal on your dime but, he drew first blood Donnie/Sinbad the Sailor Man
The travesty is the faith you have in Mans Science and tradition
Jess; not only does Science and Science-tist prove the “word” of God but, So does the History of The Human Race and if you rationalize and seek you will find but for some reason we all start and stop. Peer persure is a bitch. In my life I’ve seen death Face to face and have been convienced there was or could not be a God but, I knew there was something. Which eventually brought me full circle back around to God. others seek source or a higher source, or a differant God. A God that challenges you to seek and promises that you will find. Is this an evil God you speek of? Are you unsure or afraid to seek the anwsers? They have and are taking a life time for me. Maybe you got tired of the seeking so you made up your mind or maybe you are one of those who will be taught directly for the source or the force. Since you have only faith in Man and his beliefs you must not believe in evil or compasion or love for all these things require faith to work but, if you’ve not Faith. That there is air, that surounds you at all times. You either choke yourself or yet breathe. This is a debate nither of us can win for we both have faith and convictins which neither will let go. Wafi you’re poem has sparked conterversy. A job well done for is it not the poet’s hope to inspire “Thought” or sway it? Donnie/Sinbad By the way when we frogs all start jumping out of the well trouble is soon to follow the one world system is a beast of many heads. and power corupts the unfaithful. Wafi again I apologize for jumping on your poems logic. Again the poem itself is finely writting and does inspire. The point is the logic of surety or knowing that one is Saved or confirmed in his beleifs. We seek our own paltoes as do the fish in the sea and the birds and other animals of this fleshy world. The Bible or the word of God brought forth through men proclaims many many things most have come to past and some are yet to come. It is the only religion that has been disected and broken down completly into the style of a legal document. And I live in a country where legalizim is a profound factor of life as did those in the begining this is “The Law” in which All of us were condem, to the best of my understanding but, before the law it was disobeatance and trickery hence the fall. This is why I don’t go to Rome I can’t abid as the romans do. Well it is time for me to get out from behind my pulpit, unless Jess wishes to debate forever, which I will Gladly do but, I would like to get back to writting and creating, learning and shareing poems, or writes or thoughts and learning. I am up for learning you disprove god and I will listen until I can REPROVE Him to myself. Donnie /Sinbad
Jess the We and Our in the last Stanza have sway my vote
Too a FIVE now but before it was you and yours I believe which make a bit of a dif to me Donnie/Sinbad Wafi the poem has change with the decision to make us all responsible for making God Small with OUR Narrow minded bigit ways thank you for the read and the dramma
Wow Jess
Wow Jess, so glad to see you are back. I did miss you a lot, my friend.
Sincerely,
Wafi
“Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!” ~Afzal Shauq~
Where did Jess go????
Where did Jess go????
How was your setbaticle my friend I am glad you are back
Happy holidays and a great New Year to ya Donnie/Sinbad
True true all so sadly
True true all so sadly true… John