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Purplemoondoll

purplemoondoll's picture
Advocate Volunteer
East Anglia,
United Kingdom

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freeform

You are my soul mate, free from all despair.
Draped in love, you slumber without care.
You dream of me.
Of stolen hearts and celebrated bliss,
Captured on the wings of our first kiss.
I dream of you.
Fresh desire wound tight with pure devotion.
Delivered by your touch and raw emotion.

I am your soul mate, caught in timeless grace.
Unbidden tears fall fast with each embrace.
I hold the key
To passion’s garden laced with threads of gold.
With trust the veils of mystery will unfold.
You hold the key
To sheer delight, sweet torment when I feel
Your strength, your warmth, your kindness is for real.

We are soul mates; my demons live in fear
Of what the future holds, nothing is clear.
We move as one.
With breathless ease we walk this path again.
A medley of lost love’s own sweet refrain.
We sleep as one.
And in your arms I know I will forget.
This lifetime will be spared of all regret.

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Working title at present. May or may not keep... Any comments and/or suggestions to edit/improve are very welcome.
4
Average: 4 (4 votes)
Submitted by SLoEDdie on 23 August 2007 - 1:45am.
SLoEDdie's picture

beautiful poem

the ending took me away,
we sleep as one
and in your arms I know I will forget
this lifetime will be spared of all regrets

so beautiful, i long for this :) thanks for sharing it with us!

Submitted by barbsdad2003 on 24 August 2007 - 9:01am.
barbsdad2003's picture

A Beautiful Piece

The only thing I would change if I were the writer, just to make it more realistic (and at least a bit less idealistic): instead of “all regret” (at the end), it could be something like “much regret” or “most regret” or … ?

Just a thought that maybe shouldn’t be taken very seriously.

Love your works,
Chuck

Submitted by purplemoondoll on 24 August 2007 - 11:35am.
purplemoondoll's picture

Thanks Chuck

for the constructive suggestion! As always very much appreciated!

Kaz

Submitted by Prototype on 24 August 2007 - 2:33pm.
Prototype's picture

Very good, I love it!

Great poem purple. I was very enjoyable to read. I look forward to the title change.

Submitted by Feebie on 27 August 2007 - 7:57am.
Feebie's picture

Love and passion felt

Hi Purple

I loved this, and could feel the raw passion and love you have for this person in each line you wrote. Thanks for sharing this with us… to me personally the title works for this piece. :-)

Thanks again

Kind regards

Feebie

Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)

Submitted by purplemoondoll on 27 August 2007 - 12:38pm.
purplemoondoll's picture

Guess I'm Gonna have to come clean here lol

Thanks everyone for your comments - I think I will stick with the title as I can’t think of anything more appropriate.

Ok - time to come clean!! I don’t have a soul mate - been chasing rainbows recently (note the subtle plug for another poem in the list lol) and am very happily single. BUT I am thrilled the poem came across so well and the passion and love flowed through. This isn’t directed at anyone in particular.I tried to imagine how it would feel if/when I do meet my soul mate, if they exist. Wishful thinking? Maybe! Lets just say I was having a mushy day when I wrote this! 8)

Thank you all very much for your feedback as always its very very much appreciated!

Submitted by mark on 28 August 2007 - 7:00pm.
mark's picture

Hi Doll !

I like your poetry very much. Your passion to see what you want is clear. I am also happy for you that you are happy with the way things are for now.
Joy and Peace
Mark L

Submitted by Frost Smith on 14 September 2007 - 1:03pm.
Frost Smith's picture

I thought so, it sounds more

I thought so, it sounds more like an ideal, a dream rather than an actual someone, I got some same comments on one of my poems, the term used was “missingness”, but it is still fun to challenge yourself, being mushy suits you, nice read

Submitted by SAKKTHEE RAVICH... on 29 August 2007 - 8:28am.
SAKKTHEE RAVICHANDRAN's picture

nice to read

Friend,
nice and excellent piece .One more word to add is superub

Submitted by purplemoondoll on 4 January 2008 - 4:57am.
purplemoondoll's picture

Thanks Damon

for trawling back to read this. Very much appreciated my friend. I am glad you like it :-). Soul Mate was published in a book called Drops of Poetry at the end of 2007 - I am still dancing about that one. Thanks again

Kaz

It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.