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Submitted by Geezer on 2 July 2009 - 3:37pm.| Updated 2 July 2009 - 9:35pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
You are four and full of energy,
Funny things you do.
Tickling my funny-bone.
I laugh when I’m watching you .
Your sleep is full of barks,
But silence when you wake.
You think in dreams, wolf-like.
And chases that you make.
Hellhound in land of Nod.
Monster, I don’t see.
Scaredy-cat, you are….
Steal my heart from me.
I love the way you are,
Chase the rabbits, and no gun.
Eat with me and Grandpa,
Our diets on the run.
Lying on the floor,
Sad eyes see us go.
Staying home again,
It hurts us to say no.
I can’t eat all I got,
Doggie-bag for “Dancer” girl.
She jumps, and runs ‘round the room.
The best dog, in the world!
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
A Jason and Grandpa poem!
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Crazy Dog
I think another title could be better, something about the dog, though. Your language use was good as was the pacing. The theme reminded me of a dog named Chelsea who once owned me. Plenty of love for this dog was written here.
Always, Cat
Hello
Sorry it took me so long to get back here. I like the new title much better than tyhe old!
Always, Cat
CRAZY DOG
I have to tell you - I don’t like dogs - but I loved this poem!
Initially I thought you were writing about a little child, (so much for reading the title)but as it unfolded the language made it more obvious…
Great write!
Loved this line “scaredy-cat you are, steal my heart from me”but changed it a little… “tear” is too negative for such a positive poem. Your call though.
Thanks
Bonita j
LMAO …. this is pure
LMAO …. this is pure genius Gee I loved it … I love animals so you got me with the puppy .. I am such a sucker for animals but shhhh … Much Love Jayne x x
Genius? Dancer thinks so.
I won’t tell! Thank you, we are trying hard! I have loved all my dogs. { so much so, I have been accused of loving them more than wifey.] Thanks from me and Jason.
P.S. You could read ‘Rugby’ Something I wrote for a dog now gone.~ Gee.