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Submitted by wellbelove on 1 August 2007 - 9:23am.
Style / Type:
freeform
this does not happen to us
not happen to people I love
and I love you so much that when u hurt I hurt even more
so get better so we can get back to where we were before.
I want to hold u
my arms become magical and take away your pain
when you sleep I’ll kiss your forehead
and I’ll just make you better again.
I don’t believe in miricales
but if it helps then I do
you have to get better
‘cause I could not bear life without you.
22 October 2005
(3 votes)
this poem could have been
just to deeply personal, the lines
“I don’t believe in miracles(sic)
but if it helps then I do”
make it universal.
cheers,
Jess
Personal
Not sure I understand how a poem can be ‘to deeply personal’ - for me my favourite poetry is that which expresses deep inner feelings and the more honest and open that the poet is the more real it feels and the more I feel I have learnt about another person, rather than just their writing style.
That is not to say there is anything wrong with people who work and experiment with words which also has it’s place in the wonderful world of poetry.
Here I tried to express a desparation for a friend who was extremely ill and who I feared would die, my desparation that I could not make him better. It maybe it needs more to convey that which I would have thought universal to anyone either who is close to losing or who has lost a loved one.
forgive my typo
too deeply personal, by which I meant so personal it has no relation to anyone else. Everyone has had a loved one die or dying. Anyone can and does say “it shouldn’t happen to them, I hope they get better” that is not poetry.
What you wrote is poetry.
cheers,
Jess
Cool
Cool, as always thanks for your feedback tho
Christopher
i believe that anything you
i believe that anything you write from the heart with pure emotion is beautiful. this poem is full of love, hope, and pain. i think its wonderful. A lot of people think my poetry is disjointed, you just have to have the type of mind to understand it. im glad u understood mine titled “again”