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Docmaverick

docmaverick's picture
Lifetime Founding Member
southern california,
United States

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Style / Type: 
Western Classic

Starin’ at this piece of paper

waitin’ for the words to come;

don’t know what they’re gonna say,

don’t know where they’re commin’ from.

Ya know, I could tell ya

what makes me wanna write,

it’s just I get inspired

be it day or be it night.

My mother and my daughter

and my grandkids inspire “hope”,

sometimes I’ll write about faith and God,

like when I’m runnin’ outta rope.

Or I’ll write about life’s lessons

or the choices that we make,

sometimes I peruse the topic of love,

and give my personal “take”.

Some silly stuff…..some serious,

to entertain is not my goal;

I try and conjure a view with words,

inside all of our souls.

5
Average: 5 (2 votes)
Submitted by conect11 on 27 July 2007 - 8:43pm.

I'll be

honest here, doc. I’m not really sold on this one. I understand and agree with alot of the sentiments, but I just feel the execution needs some fine tuning. I thought you started off fine with a nice loose style but around the midway point seemed to tighten up a bit. You went from reflective to preachy, and that hurt this for me.

Mark W.

Submitted by mark on 27 August 2007 - 10:49pm.
mark's picture

to entertain is not my goal . . .

Not sure what that might have to do with inspiration to write and it kind of does seem to drift away from there. Maybe somehow if it continued on that inspiration theme or somehow wrapped up a bit diferent it might work out beter.
Mark L.

Submitted by bellavistabear on 24 August 2007 - 7:52pm.
bellavistabear's picture

Excellent!

Wonderful reasons why you write. It never ceases to amaze me the things that will inspire me to put words to paper. Excellent rhyme, and meter..Keep up the good work!

Submitted by docmaverick on 28 August 2007 - 2:16am.
docmaverick's picture

self portrait

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.

Submitted by mark on 26 September 2007 - 9:42pm.
mark's picture

Nice Poetry

great rhythm !
Thanks,
Mark