great its cigarette breaks and recess
out into the biting cold
the fresh clean flakes of snow descending
chains on my wrists
chains on my ankles are gone
out of that cramped backseat of the cruiser
just standing around killing time
shes standing next to me dressed to the nines
black stockings mini skirt chic sweater
white snow piling atop her fluffed and hairsprayed
hair
mascara rounding out the appeal
i ache and im not even in jail
just this judges hearing on my case
shes short too and cute
and i dont even smoke
snowing white and steady
on this picturesque day
dont give a damn if i go in for
thirty days or not
not up to me
but i have never forgotten that
jail groupie
a glimpse of life from the
other side
rubbing elbows of a different
nature
oh yes i got off
years probabtion and freedom
i hitchiked home in a snowstorm
dreaming of her
Annie
..O..
You are a great word painter orgami
You know that little signatorial ..O.. you use is often all the comment I need or want to make.
..O..
Jess
Great Storytelling
I think the beginning and the end are great. This is a true story? Even better! You tell it very very well. - excellent!
Kaz x
You
know something, you have a unique style here–I’m not sure what to call it. Jess is right: “painterly” maybe the closest approximation to what the impression you give..surrealistic? clearly you don’t write randomly, but you produce these images that are juxtapositions of uncanny things. in some ways your poetry reminds me of Pablo Picasso’s poetry. always intriguing. great job.
I appreciate
your word play. You dive into the visual here, while still giving this girl your abstract quality. Just a squeeze of lust, just enough, and rounded out with pragmaticism.
Mark W.