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Submitted by chumfin on 10 September 2008 - 8:55am.
Style / Type:
freeform
SEASIDE RHYTHYMS
Tonight my fairest queen
Lets listen to the seaside rhythms
Wa o! The waves is singing us a serenade
Wake up my love! Come catch a glimpse of this
Yes! The silver birds are ruling the airwaves
As nightingales they have set the tone
A kiss will spark the bliss
In a voyage to fantasy island
A toast to celebrate our endless love tonight
Its valentine,
Come!
Lets disconnect into the nights rhythm.
This is dedicated to my love VICTORIA. N.CLINTON IN PORT HACOURT.
AM FELIX OSAEGHEMEDE JOSEPH (+2348037825027)
Life has got its own rhythms, love only open your ears to its soothing melody. ( Felix.o j)
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
Life has got its own rhythms, love only open your ears to its soothing melody. (Felix.o j)
Very romantic.
No suggestions for change. I loved the sense of urgency/thrill. The last line is great, with its sense of falling willingly into passion. “A kiss will spark the bliss” reads like a passionate caress in the night. Your beloved must have been pleased.
thankyou so much
i quite appreciateytour kind and also supple comment about my poem, if you do not mind, i would love to have you as one of my friends in this poet community.
thanks alot
felix oj