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Submitted by T. Reflexion on 25 August 2008 - 9:36am.
Style / Type:
freeform
IT IS NOT GOOD
Now that you are doing this to me
I do not hear you say it is not good
I gave you money to buy plantain
I waited for five market days
Yet, I heard nothing at all from you
You left your chores un-done
The soup in the three legged pot is sour
And the children couldn’t eat their meals
This willful act repeated itself, day after day
You mocked my patience and spite my tolerance
Yet, you did not comment on the money
I kept thinking of what to do
How to feed the hungry little ones
I retrieved my money from your wages
The amount I gave you for the plantains
To prepare late porridge for hungry ones
What did I hear you say to the world?
This man is very bad, this man is wicked
I have worked for six men before
I had no problems at all with any of them
What this man has done is not good at all
They never complain about my job
It is not good what you’ve done to me
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
(3 votes)
good write...
Well! next time the man should go to the market and buy the plantain by himself to avoid unnecessary wahala…”man die go,woman born another…”
akabeks.
True...
True, the man should go to market himself to avoid wahala. But where he has people paid for their services, they too should discharge their work honestly. Amongst the paid employees are the Civil servants who should steer clear of corrupt practices, and they include all those in one employment or the other. Thank you for stopping by to read and comment. Best wishes.
Another great write
What I can see it as is summing up the problem of househelps and their constant dereliction of duty,but that is just one man’s view anyway.Thank you
I believe you may set a trend in poetry, my friend.
With deceptively little resource to prosodic trickery, just saying it without pranks or attention getting, be honoured, not annoyed, when others start to emulate your style (they probably won’t succeed anyway, there is genuine craft, skill and artistry here)
cheers,
Jess
Appreciation
Thank you very much. I am honoured already. best wishes.
Good write
Hey T… what comes around goes around.
It makes you feel better to write it down.
The guy sounds like a bummer clown.
Patty
Thank you
Thank you for the reading and comment. Best wishes.