Neopoet.com

such an inspirational piece for me. but crying over spilled milk in 2nd last line is a cliche, dont u thnk so? above all, good one from u. but there’s always room for improvementsssss

“happen” should have an S or ed on the end Barbara.
I thought the dashes took away from the piece, but this could be just me.
Agree with zarul’s comment about the spilled milk.

Smiles:)
Barbara

Thanks for commenting and for your suggestions zarul and Janice.

Yeah, spill milk is cliche, but it made the ending tie with the whole piece
and the title, I think. Just a piece of cliche may not be so bad.

what ya think?

anyway thinking about removing, when I come up with one that is uniquely me.

We live our lives by cliches. Spilled milk, count your chickens, bikinis on the beach… uh, forget that one…*L* don’t know how that sneaked in. anyway, a penny saved is a penny earned, early to bed, early to rise , etc. I liked it as is Barbara. Well done.
Rett:
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” Winston Churchill

Smiles:)
Barbara

lol Rett

Inside I cry over everything, big or small. Spilled milk just made it come together for me here.

no matter where you go you can never get away from you, so you may as well accept yourself! I really respect your philosophy on this subject.

Always, Cat

Smiles:)
Barbara

Didn’t think about it that way. Thats what makes this one special. Interpretations can be different and still be right.

Thanks for reading and sharing you comment, it is appreciated.

Great write!

Best wishes,
Mark

Smiles:)
Barbara

your comments are always appreciated

good work,really enjoyed reading it but i must agree with Janice, the dashes somehow ruin the cohesive nature of this poem.

Best regards,
blackroze.

Smiles:)
Barbara

forget a lot when i read sometimes. Thought she meant the punctuation, when she clearly said dashes. must reread before making edits next time.
agree dashes don’t look good. will remove and put back in punctuations, trying to make solid lines not dashes.

or so it seems. A very nice poem, but you sound so defeated.
I too, like the cliche.
Thanks for sharing.
Tom

Smiles:)
Barbara

Thanks for liking the cliche and the poem i appreciate it a lot
clarity on defeated?

but the touched me. You a have a simple way of saying profound truths,
respect,
Jess

You did an awesome job of revising this piece!