i have found she’s the one for me i know i need to have her in my life/
and with her by my side i know with her help i know what i do is right/
i am mesmerized by the sight of her figure and the smell of her skin/
my patience was wearing thin until i found your inner beauty within/
and now we begin to take each others hand for the ride to become one/
i love what we’ve become it’s something i needed even before this had begun/
i’m glad i forsaw the future early on when you’re around i’m sure i’m calm/
and when you say you love me i am certain i know i’ve never heard it wrong/
and my words are strong they carry the voice of passion burning inside of me/
don’t want to hide you see because i might miss how gorgeous my bride will be/
i know my heart will guide my feet and i stride to seek you until the end/
i know i can confide the side that’s weak and you still will be my friend/
Submitted by misterscott on 22 July 2008 - 4:51pm.| Updated 22 July 2008 - 5:03pm.
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Despite the line breaks,
this reads like prose to me. Also, you’ve switched pronouns from “her” to “you.”
Also, there are a few redundancies - “inner beauty within”, “foresaw the future”, “i am certain i know.” There are numerous lovely sentiments. It would make a much appreciated wedding toast, I think.
It might help if you split it up more, e.g.,
She’s the one for me–
I need to have her in my life.
With her helping by my side,
I know I’ll do what’s right, etc.