Grow as a poet. Get honest feedback on your work. — Register Free
Submitted by Candlewitch on 21 July 2008 - 3:10pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
in that place
of seclusion
where the air
becomes thin and tight
I have grown pale
in the waiting
I have dreamt you
I have taken you
deeply in
penetrating my lungs
spackling my spirit
with all the textures
of your soul
you kindle my senses
with utter anticipation
and still
with all the silence
of my reaching
I am pale in the wanting
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
(8 votes)

Whoopie!
Now that’s a good one! Refreshing and like a cool breath of fresh air! I gotta give a 5 on this one. Marvelous!
Rett:
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” Winston Churchill
Rett
Thank you for the five star reception!
Always, Cat
Now that is
real wanting… excellent write Cat..
spackling my spirit with all the textures of your soul..
loved that line…
Richard
Richard
I am rather fond of that line also! Thanks so much.
Always, Cat
Cat
This is beautiful , I can feel the emptiness and wanting very nicely descriptive
love that title
Chrystalie
:)
Thank you!
Always, Cat
Undeniable Art
Poignant,and striking,
Calliope,
Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
Lacy
Thank you so much for the praise.
Always, Cat
There is no end to wanting
or dreaming Cat. This really strikes a chord. Always Keith
Dear Keith
I feel honored that you still read my work! I hope that someday soon you will share a poem with us here at neopoet. Sorry about the rearview reflection, but I don’t have a recent picture. My nose is no longer the shape of a baked potato, so I will try to replace my photo soon.
Always, Cat
There is always
a poem that has yet to be written and shared Cat but sometimes experience is just too much to be expressed in words and just is inexpressible. But since you asked here is a small cameo piece for you to hopefully enjoy. Always Keith
Absent love.
In the absence of your words
my thoughts fly aimlessly
and cannot find their rest.
Afraid to touch your earth,
they circle in your sky,
air breathed through memory,
time slowly rushing by.
Keith
Your poem is breathtaking, I will be waiting for you to finish it. Thank you so much for sharing with me! Wishing you a gentle journey…
Always, Cat
spackling my spirit ...
just has to be the mostest favorablest line I’ve witnessed yet on this wonderful site. Brought to my grizzled face a grin so broad/so wide, I couldn’t’ve thought it possible.
Thanx,
Chuck
and you
just bring to my heart the greatest warmth of any reader I have ever come accross! Chuck, you are a love!
Always, Cat
Cat
“spackling my spirit
with all the textures
of your soul.” - Nice!! Truly good work here, Cat! Love the new piccy! B-b-b-Bennie!
~Jess K.
————————————————————————————
“The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on…” - Ronnie Barker
Thanks Jess!
I’ll keep trying to get a better pic with Benny. One where you can better see his beautiful face.
Always, Cat
yay spotlight!!
~Jess K.
————————————————————————————
“The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on…” - Ronnie Barker
Thanks
:)
always, cat
I know a guy who makes purses
out of exotic stuff like ostrige, sea lion and crystal. He made a pouch for me out of deer skin that he worked with his own hands. I know a girl who makes cool key chains too. What to do? Great writing Cat ! You may be alone but being lonely is a lie ;)
Mark
Mark
You are a lucky guy to be so valued and appreciated by your friends. I am sure you deserve to be as you are a great guy. Thanks for reading.
Always, Cat
reciever
marvelously amazing beautiful poem
the words that stretch across
beautiful fathoms
Thank you
:) Orgami, your kind words make me buoyant!
Always, Cat
Cat
Congrats on making spotlight
Chrys
Thank you
For helping to put this poem in the spotlight!
:)
Always, Cat
Hi Cat
Sorry for not seeing this great poem earlier, Chrys has said that this has made spotlight, I’m unable to tell, page not working, But very well done,
Beautifully portrayed….5/5 from, wish you well, take care,
Peter
~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~
Peter
Thank you for your gift of five stars, and for reading.
Always, Cat