Like moving to the East Village, but easier on the wallet. — Register Free
Submitted by GreenBean on 23 June 2008 - 2:48pm.| Updated 26 June 2008 - 5:59pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Determined to dissolve his delusional life,
I bought him a pocket calendar today.
Cover blank, blocks barren.
Spaced-out and empty.
A panoramic portrayal of his image.
Apparently, an impertinent impression.
I bought him a pocket calendar today.
Cover blank, blocks barren.
Spaced-out and empty.
A panoramic portrayal of his image.
Apparently, an impertinent impression.
Pride-punched,
he plucked the pages one-by-one
and ceremoniously crushed them
with fists of combat fury.
(Illustrations are not his forte.)
Realizing his clear conquest
he looked up with a wide,
blue-eyed smile,
then reached deep down
inside the bottom pocket
of his chained black pants.
Provoked, he kindled a Zippo.
Side by side in idle silence
we gazed at his fiery execution
as failed fantasies blazed
in a flaming revolt.
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
...my son...
(2 votes)
EEk,
this brought back all the shame, and pride, of my teenage rebellion.
At least I did write, secretly, but I don’t know what a parent feels in the face of such angry rebellion. That is perhaps what the poem lacks.
If you hadn’t added the afternote …my son.. I would have said get rid of the rotten bastard!
cheers,
Jess
Thanks, Jess! ;) For
Thanks, Jess!
;) For everything!
Kim (GreenBean)
Green Bean
Teen Season~ this is an interesting one ~ guess some of us can be stubborn? LOL Nicely done