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Style / Type: 
freeform

she believes
things r
or r not
how they r
supposed 2 b
he believes
things just r

he believes
if how things r
supposed 2 b
includes not being with
or even hearing from
her
then how things r
supposed 2 b
sux 4 real

4 that matter
if as he believes
its just how things r
well it still
sux 4 real

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
0
Submitted by Candlewitch on 13 May 2008 - 9:34am.
Candlewitch's picture

Alright, who are you, and

Alright, who are you, and what did you do with the real Rob Graber? lol!
No offense intended to you, dear Rob, but I despise text talk in poetry.

Always, Cat

Submitted by Rob Graber on 13 May 2008 - 9:40am.
Rob Graber's picture

lol 2 my own surprise

yes it is i
2 my own suprise
i like how it looks
4 certain works

Submitted by Infinite_Dwarf on 13 May 2008 - 3:57pm.
Infinite_Dwarf's picture

Sorry, Rob...

I have to agree with Cat. There’s a time and place for text-msg….. on the mobile.

Replace them with the proper words, and tighten it up a little, and this’ll be good.

~Lynn (Jess K.)
——————————————————————————————————————————
~ “Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling??”

Submitted by Rob Graber on 14 May 2008 - 8:45am.
Rob Graber's picture

2 each

ima little sorry 2
but then
2 each h/riz own

Submitted by Pleides on 13 May 2008 - 5:37pm.

Betu L8 thn nevu

I did enjoy the novelty of this one Rob. I’ve not seen a poem created like this before. It’s clever and made me smile.
(A while ago I wrote a poem using things like ;-) and :-( in it. I might see if I can find it again and post it here.)

Pleiades

Submitted by Rob Graber on 14 May 2008 - 8:47am.
Rob Graber's picture

i will b watching 4 it…

i will b watching 4 it… thanxatun!

Submitted by Amaranthine on 13 May 2008 - 11:46pm.
Amaranthine's picture

Text talk

I think this is funny - coz no 1 I no uses
txt mssgs excpt 4 kidz….who say
things like - dat sux 4 real!
OMG, gtg, ttyl!!!

Submitted by Rob Graber on 14 May 2008 - 8:56am.
Rob Graber's picture

u hit the nail on the head:

u hit the nail on the head: i do this when the poem i am writing makes me feel a little like 1 of the kidz

and as u will c
your comment inspired me
2 change the last line
of stanzas 2 and 3

thanx amara - ttyl!!!

Submitted by Synchro on 14 May 2008 - 12:21pm.
Synchro's picture

Since you have asked for severity, here

You’ve got it. Even if this is intended as a satire of teen “text talk,” it is absolute drivel, with nothing to ameliorate that impression. From your photo, you come off as a sophisticated and probably educated person (any red-wine drinker shows signs of worthiness in my opinion) but this piece denies it. Please toss it, and give us something to read.

Yours in peace,
Synchro

Submitted by Rob Graber on 14 May 2008 - 1:05pm.
Rob Graber's picture

Well...

Well, you might prefer the Shakespearean sonnets accessible, at my profile, about the discovery and naming of the planets and elements?

but from a certain
point of view
1 could call them
absolute drivel 2

Submitted by Synchro on 14 May 2008 - 1:54pm.
Synchro's picture

well.......................

Perhaps only implied drivel.

Yours in peace,
Synchro

Submitted by Rob Graber on 14 May 2008 - 2:34pm.
Rob Graber's picture

Playing the Words

Poetry can get too serious about itself; a huge part of the fun of it is “playing the words” (as Robert Frost put it). Unlike things such as colored or otherwise special fonts, text talk actually plays with the visual structure of words; clearly, some find this fun, others merely silly. My poem “in either case” is not {consciously) intended as a satire; it has a serious point, but one that I chose to try to convey playfully, since it is a philosophical/theological point that would otherwise become ponderous I think.

Submitted by Synchro on 14 May 2008 - 4:12pm.
Synchro's picture

Ok I'll accept that....but

I doubt that the question would ever become ponderous. :-)

Yours in peace,
Synchro

Submitted by Synchro on 14 May 2008 - 4:18pm.
Synchro's picture

I will add to that by venturing

that “text talk” is only very lazy speech, resorting to the least common denominator in communication, and should never be encouraged, even tacitly or philosophically, by those who know better.

Yours in peace,
Synchro