Neopoet.com

Neopoet.com - a global poetry community.
Meet poets from around the world — Become a full member — Register Free
 
Style / Type: 
freeform

Poem for  Israeli and Palestinian Friends on the 60th Anniversary.

This grief, too long denied,
Has shown its face in dreams
As some thin ghost.
From sleep, you’ve woken, wept,
When its ungentle wings
Stroke your cheek with sorrow.

This grief, too long denied,
Has seen your life undone.
When you would stride ten-leagues,
You falter, held aside,
By this unresolved thing
A blackness holding back.

This grief, too long denied,
Has held your life unopened.
Kept out the sights of Spring.
New days have dawned,
Whilst you locked in your evening’s past
Are slowly dying from its cause.

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Submitted by whitetea on 13 May 2008 - 2:34am.
whitetea's picture

>

you are able to peg out words the way I have to dodge, I admire that. great work here. amazing

Submitted by Pleides on 13 May 2008 - 3:11am.

It seemed to me the title could have been

Poem for a Palestinian Friend on the 60th Anniversary….. I have good friends on both sides of this tragic situation.

Thanks for reading and your very kind comment.

Pleides

Submitted by whitetea on 13 May 2008 - 4:09am.
whitetea's picture

>

and you live in new zealand, do you travel often?

Submitted by Pleides on 13 May 2008 - 6:30am.

This flightless kiwi

has travelled a lot…..;-)

Pleides

Submitted by Synchro on 13 May 2008 - 9:35pm.
Synchro's picture

Nice piece of work

It perhaps could stand extending a bit, but I like it as is. I really don’t understand your reason for the use of the archaic “whilst,” however.

Yours in peace,
Synchro

Submitted by Pleides on 13 May 2008 - 10:18pm.

Extending and whilst

Thanks for reading and your kind comments.
I don’t think I can extend it anymore, for me there is no more to say.
Re Whilst….I first wrote while, then whilst, then back to while, until finally it needed to be whilst. The reason for this is that the conflict, which is the subject matter of the poem, goes back way beyond the last 60 years, to an archaic time you might say, Also, when I read it out loud, whilst requires for some reason a pause, and I hoped this pause would accentuate the ongoing tragedy today the poem addresses and which is the conclusion in the last line.

Thanks again for reading

Pleiades