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Style / Type: 
freeform

The coldness of silence slips up inside you,
your lips slide apart at the knee,
All collars and cuffs in resplendant velour,

Am I making you slightly uneasy.

You don’t feel the prints as my fingers entice you,
The room leaves, your standing outside;
And we head for a bar where we find Steven Hawkins
miming to’ I will survive’.

And my name could be disturbance,
I’m not here to play your game.
You where thinking I’m not perfect,
but i’m perfect in my own way.
My name is disturbance.
I’m not here,
at least not here to play yor game.

Your gratefully raped as your faithful applaud,
and
then they crawl through the floor to the bar,
Too many cocks will spoil the breathe so I hope you keep mints in your car.

My name is disturbance.

If you build me I’ll come ,but I’m no ‘Field of Dreams’,
persistance is getting you down,
I’ll wine you ,I’ll dine you, i might 69 you ,
but I’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth.

And my name will be disturbance .

I’m not here to play your game.

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Had a bit to say but 300 letters was not enough so i but in the box underneath this one to see what would happen! you work it out i didn't!
0
Submitted by hardshaft on 10 May 2008 - 8:28pm.

I suqpect i have been culled!

Thanks!

Submitted by hardshaft on 10 May 2008 - 8:31pm.

I suspect I have been culled!

Thanks!