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Submitted by lauren ikon on 25 April 2008 - 6:51pm.
because it’s storming outside:
o! i reckon god speaks
with crackling throat clears,
a rumbling in the gut–
his throat raw, draining
to soak cloths and carpets
with salivating–mold grows
beneath it, it’s green like the
grass, plush and eager to empty
lungs of air.
finger snap
match scratch–
lightning strikes
and contusions
flood with ultra-
speed, sound, precision,
violet sponges.
o! i reckon the lord speaks
with his tongue tied and
squeezed dry.
Initial reaction:
Initial reaction: Intriguing! I hope to be back soon with more to say.
What is the title of this
What is the title of this interesting poem?
What is its first line?
Shouldn’t line 5 (or 6) have “clothes”?
I will have more questions should you reply to these!
It doesn’t have a title
It doesn’t have a title yet, because it’s sort of still in it’s preliminary stages–but I’m not sure how to enhance it.
The first line is, “o! i reckon god speaks”
I suppose it could be clothes, though I was actually thinking cloths, like wash cloths. Clothes might work better, however.
I was hoping that was the
I was hoping that was the opening line! The poem is enjoyable and–especially the last two stanzas–obscure. My own preference would be greater clarity of meaning; but i reckon god is supposed to be enigmatic, and o! i bet you want to keep this poem that way too. :-,?
PS: Robert Frost advised poets not to hide too far away…
i tend to mention god
i tend to mention god because i’m an atheist, which is unknown to my readers, but i usually mention it in an unpleasant situation. it wasn’t supposed to be too much of an enigma, but i suppose that happens.