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Submitted by Kevin P. Bodisch on 30 September 2008 - 6:31am.
My conscience sits alone
quiet in the dark
playing tiddly winks
with childhood memories
Acting the rebel
without a cause,
When in reality
we are rebels without a clue.
My conscience is searching
finding a locked box
having a desire to open it
Deciding against it remembering what happened to Pandora.
Small pin point of light
in the distance down the hall.
My conscience tried to quickly dress.
Throwing open the door to reason
knowledge come rushing in.
My conscience yells
“Shut the door I am naked.”
Naked conscience
Smiles:)
Barbara
Hmmmm meaning of naked conscience? this is a good one well written
I like how you portrayed having no clue why we rebel at such a young age.
good poetry
I read this
as an interesting poem about psychoanalysis. So, I wonder if you mean “unconscious” in stanzas 1, 4 and 5 and “consciousness” in stanza 3, rather than “conscience”. Also, in line 1, I would remove “alone” because, in fact, childhood memories are also there. I esp. like the inventiveness and imagery of stanzas 1 and 4 but stanza 2 is clichéd. There are also some grammatical errors.
I like this poem and it’s rich in potential. I hope you revise and, maybe, expand. For example, why is it bad to be caught naked? Where did that shame come from?