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Undercover angels

It was half past 3 am on Sunday night
down on Hawthrone st
I was keeping to the light
just workin’ the old beat

Not lookin’ for a fight
only a fix for the long night

He came for me, all what was left
I am not one who prays
maybe it started as theft
but it didn’t end that way

I remember that I wept
in the few moments that I’ve kept

They found me alone in the alley
lost and afraid of real shadows
they understood I had no family
held me as I shed my deepest sorrow

What is lost I could never tally
but around me they all did rally

Who would do such a strange thing?
Who’d open themselves to me?
Who are they?
they must be saints all seeing

But as I turn to ask my question
there is just a quite silent tension
they had faded away without mention
maybe it was an undercover angel convention?

I was tied in emotional red tape
unsure what was to be my fate

They could not save me the real pain
but comforted me as they could
that horrible night in the rain
sheltering me with their good

I checked into rehab the next day
started to make a new life
stopped being easy prey
reflecting only haunted strife

Now I try not standing in my own way
and I heal just a little more each hard day

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I have been working on this for awhile.....
Editing stage: 

Comments

I will fix that up, thanks.

Julie

D.D.

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author comment

Darn it! I wrote out suggestions to get rhymes closer and then see this is free verse lol. Well, I'll give them anyway in case you might want to use one or two:
L-8 I'm not one to pray
L-9 change started to began(just seems to read better to me)
L-16 change sorrow to sorrows
L-20 .....to my being

Just a few things tossed out for your consideration.........stan

I will take your suggestions into consideration, thanks. Much appreaciated.

Julie

D.D.

Chat Rocks!

Click on the chat link at the top of the page and launch the new Live Neo chat! Fun, friends and poetry. It's the best way to get to know the Neo family and site! Can't wait to see you there!

author comment

Thanks for ur sabbatical
and u return to inspire me again ...
I can't post here my refrain ,
do read it in my domain
thanks

loved

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