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Saint

Bloody red,
Darling loves,
Screw this bed,
Kill those doves,

Lie to the sun,
Eat her rays,
Do not run,
Down in a blaze,

Raise your fist,
Draw your weapon,
Get lost in the list,
Don’t step in,

Sharper nails,
Wicked mind,
Weed these trails,
Kill the blind,

Shallow grave,
Running river,
Do attempt a save,
Take that giver

Do I detect,
A bleeding soul,
You seem wrecked,
Fall deeper in that hole,

An omen I see,
Can’t escape,
So hard to be,
This vine of grape,

Wouldn’t have it,
Any other way,
Cut that slit,
Smashed a vase,

Never human,
Twisted metal,
Hard to be a new man,
Screeching kettle,

Blow up,
There’s no us,
Drink a cup,
A toast to us,

Our ruination,
Burned a bridge,
Without cation,
Cut on a ridge,

Lips split,
Eyes bleeding,
Said with wit,
Have them pleading,

We made this bed,
Die on this hill,
Can’t change said,
Written in quill,

Wide open we lay,
Hands laced,
This is the day,
Over we raced.

Angels love,
Threw it away,
Never above,
Tomorrows today,

Belong in Hell,
Screams louder,
Say that I fell,
Chalk this powder,

This addiction,
Never made better,
A lying fiction,
Written in letter,

Won’t beg,
Don’t want change,
Broken leg,
Your arrange,

Ride or die,
Till the bitter,
Bluing sky,
Raining pitter,

Starved to old,
Skin and bones,
Myself sold,
Devils thrones,

Lay at his feet,
Lick his wounds,
Ended on street,
Dropping moods,

Come to know,
That wrong,
Is not below,
Our stretch of long,

My loyal lays,
Within his hands,
For many days,
His commands,

Spread that message,
Smash that text,
Paid pesage,
Move next,

Wilted roses,
Gun in hand,
Clashing noses,
A last stand.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I wonder if this would do nicely in stanzas
Perhaps this would allow readers to discern better what you are saying.
Such anger here…

For example, I have abridged a few lines to make my point…

Bloody red,
Darling loves,
Screw this bed,
Kill those doves,

Lie to the sun,
Eat her rays,
Do not run,
Down in a blaze,

Raise your fist,
Draw your weapon,
Get lost in the list,
Don’t step in,

Sharper nails,
Wicked mind,
Weed these trails,
Kill the blind,

Shallow grave,
Running river,
Do attempt a save,
Take that giver

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Thanks for this! Advice is always helpful- and I agree with this point.

"To fly is to fall."

author comment

Reads very much better….

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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